4-Steps to Rewrite the Hero Copy on Your Landing Page🧘♀️
Anit-corporate speak, you + transformation
Hey Part-Time Creator,
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Most landing pages suck.
I say that as a user. I land, I’m confused, I go.
This is the opposite of what you want…
Let’s fix it 👇
Step 1: Anti-corporate speak
It’s wild how much this gets missed.
Sooooo many landing pages optimize for impressing vs. explaining what they *actually* do.
Picture a man in a suit explaining a simple concept in 25 minutes, with words like ‘blue-sky thinking’ and everyone else nodding. Reality: nobody knows what’s going on.
So what should you do?
Go anti-corporate:
❌ Optimize your cognitive equilibrium and unlock transformative potential—strategically recalibrating mental frameworks to drive holistic, results-oriented personal evolution. = WTF. 🤯
✅ Calm your mind. Change your life. = simple, easy, click. 🙌
In the real world, the world where things happen—simplicity wins. The first thing your potential buyer needs to understand is… what they are buying. So make it easy for them.
In a nutshell: Ditch the corporate chat, go simple.
Step 2: you, you, you, you, you.
This isn’t about you. It’s about them. Which means using the word ‘you’. Okay, that was overly confusing. You should have ‘you’ front and center. It should be everywhere.
Golden rule: If you don’t have at least 4 mentions of ‘you’ on your landing page you’re doing it wrong.
✅ Calm your mind.
✅ Change your life.
Put your potential customer at the center of your copy.
Step 3: Transformation, transformation, transformation
People don’t want step changes. I know, I know, it’s the most realistic way to make changes but people love the idea of a silver bullet—one thing that fixes everything.
And so the promise of a transformation plays to all our human instincts.
Here’s how you find yours:
Step 1: Identify the problem (what problem is your business solving?)
Step 2: Cause-and-effect (what is the impact of that problem?)
Step 3: Contrast the scale (small action, big impact)
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Let’s see it in action…🚀
You are selling mold removal services (don’t ask how I got here).
You’re writing your landing page for mold removal services, here’s how that might look:
Step 1: Removing mold from your house
Step 2: Because it’s causing anxiety, health concerns, and embarrassment
Step 3: Free quote, work completed in 3 hours, guaranteed to never return
Examples:
‘Clear the mold. Restore your home.’
‘Kill the mold. Protect your world.’
‘Destroy the mold. Reclaim your home.’
Step 4: Make it look nice
The way your writing looks is important.
If it looks good = people are more likely to read it. Calm us symmetry in their copy—their copy looks, well, nice.
🧩 Framework: [Verb + possessive + Noun]. [Verb + possessive + Noun].
🧩 Example: Calm your mind. Change your life.
Over and above that, it’s easy to remember. It’s the power of three. There’s alliteration—It’s all the literary techniques rolled into one.
For a dog walking business: ‘Less stress for you. More steps for them.’
For a mold cleaning business: ‘Kill the mold. Protect your home.’
Here’s the made-up landing page for my mold removal company…